Sunday, November 29, 2009

Why I Am Crazy


I don’t need to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist to know that I’m crazy. I already know I am a raving lunatic. First off, there is a history of mental illness (bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, autism, etc.) in my family and second, I understand the brain and know myself well enough to honestly realize that I got problems. I consider it both a curse and a blessing.

The Curse

It is a curse because, in its worst incarnations, mental illness is devastating. I am one of the more fortunate ones in that my condition is not as pronounced or as debilitating as it has been with some of my relatives. I can lead a quasi-normal life and make a living, even if I find it to be a royal pain in the ass. It’s hard for me to lead a normal life because I find it excruciatingly boring. My mind is always busy with things that have nothing to do with what I am supposed to be busy with at the moment. As a result, I tend to be distracted and I often miss important details about what is going on around me. Needless to say, this constant daydreaming can be disastrous at times but I can’t seem to shake it.

The Blessing

Sometimes I feel like the protagonist in Robert Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land. For some reason, I got an insatiable desire to grok things. I feel blessed because it can sometimes lead to powerful insights. If I am interested in a subject, I will continually think about it and research it and I will not rest until I fully understand it. I keep mental notes of things that I don’t yet understand and I make it a point to think about them as often as I can. So if I figure certain things out, it’s not because I am smarter than anyone else, but because I meditate on them a lot longer than most people.

I Think About Strange and Crazy Things All the Time

My natural inclination to grok the world around me forces me to examine the foundational aspects of everything. I continually ask myself questions about the extreme fundamental underpinnings of reality. For example, I’ve been trying to understand why any given property of a particle (e.g., mass, energy, position or orientation) is what it is. I ask myself questions like, why does the mass (body) of a particle act like mass and not like kinetic energy? Or, using my seraphim terminology (see links below), what makes a wing a wing and not a face or a body? These are things that normal people never think about but I do. Why? Because I'm crazy.

Having long ago concluded that everything is necessarily made of nothing (otherwise, you run into an infinite regress) and that all particles and their properties sum up to nothing (a yin-yang universe), a new mystery immediately arose. There was no doubt in my mind that creation consists of separating opposite things out of nothing but I could not honestly accept the proposition that a property can mean something as opposed to some other thing while being nothing at the same time. After all, how can nothing be a property? It didn’t make any sense and the contradiction was driving me nuts (ha ha). So I kept thinking about it.

Eventually it grabbed me that one nothing is not enough to explain reality. The physical can have no meaning in and of itself. For anything to make sense, something else is required. I concluded that the materialists were wrong from the start: There is a yin-yang material realm for substance and there is another yin-yang realm for meaning. The two are opposite and complementary. It follows that particles and their properties have no meaning unless something gives them meaning. The meaning of physical properties is necessarily governed by something else. This is clearly indicated by the metaphor of the throne in John’s occult little book:
Rev. 4:6-8
Before the throne there was a sea of glass, like crystal. And in the midst of the throne, and around the throne, were four living creatures full of eyes in front and in back. The first living creature was like a lion, the second living creature like a calf, the third living creature had a face like a man, and the fourth living creature was like a flying eagle. The four living creatures, each having six wings, were full of eyes around and within.

In other words, the throne represents the realm of meaning, i.e., the realm that governs meaning for the sea of glass and the four living creatures. Of course, there were other thrones in John's vision_24 to be exact_but that's another story. Now that you know the extent of my craziness, whether or not you want to take my writings seriously is up to you. I am OK either way but I would be a little bit more careful about it if I were you. Don't trust what I say unless it makes sense to you. Oh, I almost forgot. Did I ever mention that I sometimes use pot to expand my thinking? Well, now you know. I am not only crazy, I'm also a pothead. ahahaha...


Nasty Little Truth About Matter
Physics: The Problem With Motion
Understanding the Lattice
Lattice Propulsion


Cam said...

I'm crazy too. I smoke and think lots and smoke some more and stop thinking for a while until it's time to think some more. Sometimes quiet observation is more revealing. It's taken many cycles up and down to this point where I can maintain that quiet, unfocused-but-all-focused state. Try to slow down here and there if you can. Coming from a guy who obsesses heavily at times. You may find Salvia quite interesting.

Have you read Robert Pirsig's work? Might stimulate your mind. He discusses the mistakes made like that of the materialists. Very fascinating ideas.

Cleophas said...

There is an old saying... If you think you are crazy you probably are not.

That being said, I think it is the ultimate expression of humility to be able to analyze your own ego-driven thought process enough to see all the flaws and to recognize the randomness in thoughts and ideas. (There is a clue to the true fundamental nature of reality, see Cahill's work on Process Physics)

You have a virtue here. And this is the means by which we evolve our consciousness; contemplation and humble inward reflection.

Strive only to keep peace in your soul and you will be able to safely stand in the midst of the cosmic fire that is consciousness and reality itself. And you will be able to mine the shreds of gold you find in all the dross.

boram said...

I would suggest that you try to grok quantum physics and general
relativity. From reading your posts, it seems that you have quite a dislike for mainstream physics and physicists, but I would urge you to at least "know your enemy" and try to understand the predictive power of these theories. It doesn't seem like you know very much about modern physics. Maybe I'm mistaken, but I think you wrote in a previous article that you don't disagree with the predictions of quantum physics or general relativity. Maybe you could elaborate on that point a bit more? Because it sure seems like you are claiming physical effects that are not predicted by the mainstream theories. Are there specific experiments which you believe are in error where your hypotheses give the more accurate predictions? Or, are you claiming that you have a new interpretation of quantum physics that gives the same physical predictions?

In any case, it's very clear that you know precious little about the
philosophy of science. In particular, no scientist "believes" in scientific theories; theories are just our best collective guesses up to this point, and you don't seem to understand that there is a tremendous pressure in the scientific community to disprove or improve upon them, and when this happens the outmoded ideas are thrust aside like garbage, hardly to be touched again, save for history lessons.
The second point to understand about the philosophy of science is that competing theories are judged primarily by how well they explain and predict the available evidence and the outcome of experiments. You
have a lot of ideas but you're a little light on the supporting
evidence. You could sell your ideas much more effectively if you
provided just a little substantiation.

P.S. I don't claim to know if space and time are discrete or not. I don't think there is presently enough evidence to currently tell one way or the other, and if space and time are continuous, we may never be able to be sure; the best we might be able to do in that case is to perhaps put progressively lower bounds on possible lattice sizes. That said, your argument that space and time are discrete is rubbish and just a rehash of Zeno's paradox, and its resolution is the same.

Cam said...

Hey, Louis, consider this a while before you post it.

What must the brain be? This is a hologram, a crystal, and therefore the brain is a hologram within a hologram. Can't get away from it. A holographic processor. That is what you'll need for the AI you want. According to a neuro-scientist by the name of Jill Bolte Taylor (dunno about her credibility, will double check before I send but that's doubtful), the right hemisphere is a parallel processor while the left is a serial processor. So a parallel processor and a serial processor in parallel? I have taken a few interesting bits from quantum physics that have helped me. You can't really take all of it literally. You have to what is being described and take your own interpretation. There are interesting bits and a lot of it parallels what you say. I dunno, just stoned thoughts but they might help you, man. They help me at least.

Anonymous said...

Hey Louis ... do you remember this?

Your CyLab memo

Well NASA did the right thing, and withdrew from CyLab, despite their $23 million investment.

Guttman whistleblow

Guttman should have gone to jail for the Printcafe and Aileron securities and hedge fund frauds.
It remains to be seen if Carnegie Mellon's embarrassed Trustees will ever prosecute him for the theft-by-deception of $1+ million.

jarson said...

Horay people the powerful insight of a raving schizo is gonna lead you all to redemption! Revolutionize the computing and physic world shall we?