Who Am I? What Are My Credentials?

People write to me to ask, “Who are you?” or “What are your credentials?”

• I am a crackpot and a crank. Those are my credentials. Ahahaha…
• I am a self-taught computer programmer. Ok, I did take a C++ class at UCLA a long time ago, just for grins and giggles. I have programmed in assembly, FORTH, BASIC, C, C++, C#, Pascal, Java, php, asp, etc…
• I hate computer languages, all of them.
• I hate operating systems, all of them.
• I hate computer keyboards, even if I have to use them. They are ancient relics of the typewriter age.
• I hate algorithmic computing.
• I hate software bugs.
• I hate all the crappy multicore processors from Intel, AMD, Tilera, Freescale Semiconductor, ARM, and the others.
• I actually hate all CPUs, if only because they are all designed and optimized for algorithmic computing.
• I hate thread-based parallelism.
• I hate coarse-grain parallelism.
• I hate threads, period. The thread is the second worst programming invention ever.
• I hate Erlang’s so-called ‘lightweight’ processes.
• I believe that, if your parallel language, OS or multicore CPU does not support fine-grain parallelism, it’s crap.
• I hate the Von Neumann bottleneck.
• I love synchronous, reactive, deterministic, fine-grain, parallel computing. That’s the future of computing.
• I love reliable software.
• I love Jeff Han’s multi-touch screen technology. That’s the future interface of programming. Drag'm and drop'm.
• I love cruising catamarans.
• I love people from all over the world.
• I love Paris, New York City, Provence, French Riviera, Monaco, Nice, Venice, Rome, London, Amalfi coast, Turkey, Miami Beach, the Caribbean, the South Pacific, Hawaii, Polynesia, Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, the Philipines, Papua, Sumatra, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, Seychelles, Moroco, Zanzibar, Portugal, Russia (la vieille Russie), Eastern Europe, Nothern Europe, Western Europe, India, Sri Lanka, Brazil, Mexico, Vienna, Bolivia, Amazon, Africa, China, Rio de Janeiro, Machu Picchu, Chitzen Itza, Tokyo, Greece, Hong Kong, Budapest, Shanghai, Barcelona, Naples, Yucatan peninsula, Texas, Colorado, Alberta, Key West, Central America, South America, Alaska, Montreal, California, San Francisco, Carmel (Cal.), Los Angeles, Baja California, Houston, Seattle, Mazatlan, Vancouver, Chicago, Kernville (Cal.), Yosemite, Grand Canyon, Redwood Forest, Yellowstone, etc… All right. I never set foot in some of those places but I would love to. Come to think of it, I just love planet earth.
• I love plants and trees and animals.
• I love astronomy, archaelogy, history, science, languages and cultures.
• I love white water rafting, canoeing, fishing, walking in the woods or in a big city, hiking, bicycling, sailing, scuba diving, surfing. Unfortunately, I can’t do most of these sports for the time being.
• I love the arts, movies, painting, architecture, theatre, sculpture, photography, ceramics, microphotography, novels, science fiction, poetry, digital arts, haute cuisine, hole-in-the-wall cuisine, home-made cuisine, haute couture, restaurants, interior decorating, furniture design, landscaping, carpentry, all sorts of music.
• I am passionate about artificial intelligence and extreme fundamental physics. I don't know why.
• More than anything, I love the Creator who made it all possible.
• Atheist computer geeks hate me but I laugh in their faces.
• Shit-for-brains voodoo physicists don’t like me but I crap on their time-travel and black hole religion.
• I am a Christian but, unlike most Christians, I believe in weird Christian shit. I believe that we are all forgiven (just ask), even computer geeks and crackpot physicists. What’s your chicken shit religion? Ahahaha...
• If my Bible research offends you, then don't read my blog. It's not meant for you. I need neither your approval, nor your criticism, nor your money. I don't care if you're Bill Gates or the Sultan of Brunei.
• I’m the guy who hates to say ‘I told you so’ but I told you so. Goddamnit!
• I am right about software reliability.
• I am right about parallel programming and multicore processors.
• I am right about crackpot physics.
• I am wrong about almost everything else.
• Food? Did anybody mention food? I’m glad you asked. I love sushi and sashimi with Napa Valley or South American Merlot, Indian food, Mexican food, Thai food, Chinese Szechwan food, French food, Italian food, Ethiopian food, Spanish food, Korean food, Iranian food, Brazilian food, Cuban food, Malaysian food, Indonesian food, Haitian food, Argentinean food, Peruvian food, Vietnamese food, Cajun food, southern style barbecue ribs, Jamaican food, Yucateco food, Greek food, New York hotdogs, Chicago hotdogs, burritos, tacos de carne asada, tacos al pastor, chipotle, peppers, In-N-Out Burgers, New York pizza, corn tortillas, chiles rellenos, huevos rancheros, pollo en mole, French crepes, French cheeses, Italian cheeses, Japanese ramen (Asahi Ramen, Los Angeles), Japanese curry, soy sauce, sake, tequila with lime, mezcal, rum, rompope, Grand Marnier, cocktails, all sorts of wine, Dijon mustard, chocolate, French pastry, Viennese pastry, German beer, espresso, cappuccino, caffe latte, café Cubano, Starbucks, Jewish deli food, Italian deli food, all sorts of spices, all sorts of seafood, tropical fruits, etc… Ok, you get the picture. As you can see, I love food and this is just a short list. And no, I’m not a fat slob. I am actually skinny.
• I am part French, part Spanish, part black, part Taino (Caribe Indian) and other mixed ethnic ingredients from the distant past.
• Oh, yes. I love women, too.

All right. That's enough of me. I got to get back to my AI project now. Later.