Thursday, October 4, 2007

The Intel Cartel: Algorithmic Dope Dealers

All Multicore and Parallel Programming Articles

Cry Babies

It seems that all Intel does lately is bitch about how hard parallel programming is and how programmers are not using enough threads. Their latest tantrum is about how there are too many parallel languages to choose from. Does anybody else sense a wee bit of panic in Intel’s camp? The company has bet all its marbles on multicore CPUs being the big money maker for the foreseeable future, which is understandable. The problem is that most legacy software cannot take advantage of multiple cores and programmers are having a hell of a hard time writing good parallel software. So what’s Intel’s solution? Bitching, whining, jumping up and down and foaming at the mouth, all the while, making a royal fool of itself. Haysoos Martinez! What a bunch of cry babies you people are!

Algorithmic Cocaine

I got news for you, Intel. Stop blaming others for your own mistakes. You are the primary cause of the problem. You, more than any other company in this industry, got us into this sorry mess. You made so much money, over the years, milking algorithmic cocaine from that fat cow of yours that it never occurred to you that the cow might run dry some day. Now that you’ve got everybody stoned and addicted, they keep coming back for more. But there is no more. Moore’s law is no longer the undisputed law of the land. “Mix threads with your dope!”, you scream at them with despair in your voice, but they’re not listening. And they keep coming. Worse, you got so stoned consuming your own dope, you cannot see a way out of your self-made predicament. Your only consolation is that all the other dope dealers (AMD, IBM, Sun Microsystems, Freescale Semiconductors, Motorola, Texas Instruments, Tilera, Ambric, ARM, etc…) are in the same boat with you. I don’t know about the rest of you out there but methinks that the Intel cartel is in trouble. Deep trouble. It's not a pretty picture.

The Cure

We all know what the problem is but is there a cure? The answer is yes, of course, there is a cure. The cure is to abandon the algorithmic software model and to adopt a non-algorithmic, reactive, implicitly parallel, synchronous model. I have already written enough about this subject and I am getting tired of repeating myself. If you people at Intel or the other companies are seriously interested in solving the problem, below are a few articles for your reading pleasure. If you are not interested, you can all go back to whining and bitching. I am not one to say I told you so, but the day will come soon when I won’t be able to restrain myself.

The Age of Crappy Concurrency: Erlang, Tilera, Intel, AMD, IBM, Freescale, etc…
Parallel Programming, Math, and the Curse of the Algorithm
Half a Century of Crappy Computing
Parallel Computers and the Algorithm: Square Peg vs. Round Hole
Don’t Like Deadlocks, Data Races and Traffic Accidents? Kill the Threads
Why I Think Functional Programming Languages Like Erlang and Haskell are Crap
Killing the Beast
Why Timing Is the Most Important Thing in Computer Programming
Functional Programmers Encourage Crappy Parallel Computing
How to Design a Self-Balancing Multicore CPU for Fine-Grain Parallel Applications
Thread Monkeys: Tile64 and Erlang
COSA, Erlang, the Beast, and the Hardware Makers
Tilera vs. Godzilla

1 comment:

Greg said...

Where does COSA fit between compiling-to-FPGA and Functional Reactive Programming?