Thursday, September 13, 2007

Alienating Computer Geeks

The Risk of Alienation

Read this article only if you’re a computer geek but do ignore the rest of my blog because it is not meant for you. And don’t even bother responding because I will trash your comments. Someone wrote to me today to advise me to stop promoting my blog at various programming news sites (e.g., DZone). His advice is that, unless I provide code for people (meaning computer geeks) to play with, I risk alienating the same people who might be interested in my work. Oh well. What if I told you that alienating computer geeks is exactly what I want to do? Would that piss you off? Good. Let me make it clear that I have very little respect for computer geeks. I have worked with geeks for many years and most of them (although not all) are full of themselves. And here is why.

Computer Geeks Are Stupid

Computer programming has been a profession for at least half a century. During all this time, not once did it occur to all those legions of computer geeks out there that the way they build and program computers might be fundamentally wrong. And these are people who consider themselves among the smartest people on earth. What is wrong with this picture? I remember realizing that something was wrong with computing as soon I picked up a book to learn 6502 assembly language. That was way back in 1980 and I had just bought myself a $400 single board Rockwell AIM 65 computer with 4k of memory (I still have it). The basic idea of building and programming computers has not changed much since. Heck, it has not changed in 150 years! Since the days of Babbage and Ada Lovelace for crying out loud! What is my point? My point is that it’s crap. That’s my point.

So then let me give it to you straight. You computer geeks out there don’t know shit as you ought to know. You are the last people on earth that I want on my side. You are stupid, in my opinion. If I alienate you, so be it. No skin off my back. You don’t put food on my table. I want smart people on my side, real thinkers. Not a bunch of nerds who get their jollies from writing a chicken shit sort routine in C++, Erlang, Haskell or what have you. It’s all crap, I tell you.

Making Geeks Obsolete

So there you go. I just did not want the word to spread that I am trying to persuade a bunch of computer nerds on DZone (or wherever) to be on my side. You are not smart enough (the few smart ones among you know who you are). The computer world is about to change drastically, not because of you, but in spite of you. You are the cause of the software crisis, not the solution. In fact, the computer world is going to change to the point where you will become obsolete and forced to hit the unemployment line, fondling a code listing of Python, Ruby, C++ or Erlang in your shirt pockets, longing for the days when people actually paid you for writing those crappy codes. So yes, that’s one of the goals of Project COSA, to make you obsolete.

Ok. I feel much better now. I think I'll have me a glass of wine. Thank you. :-D

3 comments:

Dan said...

So you realized something was wrong while trying to learn assembly . That's odd . Most people get a worm fuzzy feeling when learning manual memory allocation and hexadecimal arithmetic .
:) . I WAS being sarcastic .
Excessive use of assembly is bad for your 01101000
01100101
01100001
01101100
01110100
01101000 .

Louis Savain said...

So you realized something was wrong while trying to learn assembly . That's odd . Most people get a worm fuzzy feeling when learning manual memory allocation and hexadecimal arithmetic.

Funny. Actually, 6502 assembly was my introduction to computer programming. I did not learn a high level language (FORTH followed by C) until much later. FORTH was cool in those days because you could actually use it to write smaller code than pure assembly. That's a blessing when you only have 64k to work with. I still think it's all crap though. :-D

Keymone said...

and so what? everything changes..phisycists were using crappy newton's laws for 100 years mathematicians were using crappy euclide geometry for 1000 years. we are using crappy programming paradigm for 100 years and everything you suggest will be crappy in 10 years. this is a normal way - people use things untill things are good enough. there is no need to be so angry :)